아이엘츠6.5 샘플_Writing Sample #7_과도한 공부문제(Studying Too Much)_ 최경훈 선생님

안녕하세요,

최경훈 선생님입니다.

오늘도 6.5 Sample에 대해 배워보겠습니다.

<문제>

In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying in and after school and have less free time. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on children and society that they live in?

 

(잠깐! 여러분도 직접 써보고 비교해보는 것은 어떨까요?)

 

<답변>

A lot of parents and guardians in general force their children to study as hard as they can until they receive a perfect score. In some parts of the world, students have to study in and after school and have little leisure time. This essay will explain why I think it has negative effects on children and their society.

 

Firstly, overstudying can cause some health issues. The stress can show real physical signs─headaches or digestive issues─and can lead to long-term health issues. Changes in sleep habits can also be a serious problem. Sleep deprivation is detrimental to a student’s ability to focus and process information, which can negatively impact their grades.

 

Overstudying also gives a bad impact on social relationships. Overstudying students usually do not take interest in social life, which plays an important role in one’s healthy life. They could stop socializing completely or socialize noticeably less. They could spend more and more time close off in their room and even struggle to find time to participate in activities or hobbies.

 

Some people, however, point out that studying hard enables students to develop self-discipline, which will bring long-term benefits for careers. Despite this, too much stress refrains them from retaining information accurately. It can even make some of them lose interest in a certain subject. Even worse, some may have a negative attitude toward learning.

 

In conclusion, it has many disadvantages on children such as causing some health issues, withdrawing from social activities, and lowering performance in spite of developing students’ self-discipline. I think it has more negative effects on children. There must be an adequate time for their well-being.

 

(272 words)

 

P.S. ‘negative effects’에 대한 동의어로 좋은 아이디어가 있으면 댓글로 남겨주세요.

감사합니다.