IELTS Writing Sample #8_consumerism 과소비 문제_최경훈 선생님_아이엘츠6.5+샘플

오늘도 해외진출을 꿈꾸시는 여러분 안녕하세요. 저는 최경훈 선생님입니다.

오늘의 아이엘츠6.5+샘플은 과소비에 대한 문제입니다!:)

 

<문제>

Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

 

<답안>

The gist of consumerism is that people would be happy when they buy and utilize more products. Some suggest that more spending fuels the economic growth and production rate, while others criticize the impact of consumerism in terms of social and environmental reasons. In my view, it has more negative effects on society.

 

The proponents of consumerism point out that higher spending can help economic growth. Higher spending causes more production of products, which leads to a country’s GDP growth. Higher consumer demand enables business owners and companies to grow and hire more employees, and then they can buy more products the companies made. It fuels trade and keeps economies alive, which is the virtuous circle.

 

Nevertheless, it has been said to consider negative effects on society. It has developed materialistic culture and society which focuses on high quantity and costly goods rather than quality. People become more inclined to think that material possessions are more crucial to true happiness rather than inner motivators. Moreover, it often makes people’s mindset status-conscious and often causes stress and anxiety by keeping up with social status.

 

In addition, many environmental problems occur because of the high production and spending. There will be wastage of resources and ultimately more pollution. As the competition goes high, resources are being depleted soon, and it becomes easier for companies to use harmful chemicals to reduce costs instead of recycled or disposable materials. The more companies focus on solely more production, the more pollutants will be emitted.

 

In conclusion, granted that overconsuming can drive economic growth, but it makes society more materialistic and causes many environmental issues. In my view, it has more negative effects than positive ones. People should find a way to buy only what they need.

 

(291 words)

 

 

<최경훈 선생님의 고득점 포인트>

• Spelling 실수 주의
  • demand (not demend(X))
  • criticize(not critisize(X))
  • employees(not empolyees(X)
  • mindset(not minset(X))
  • solely(not soley(X))
  • production(not prodction(X))

 

• 명사
  • pollution(more pollutions(X))
  • production(more productions(X))
  • the competition(not competition(X))

이 4번째 단락에서는 문맥상 비즈니스 간의 경쟁을 의미하므로 The competition이 더 자연스럽습니다.

• costs(not cost(X))

물건을 만드는 일반적은 비용들을 말할 때는 -s를 붙입니다.

 

• 동사
  • assert vs affirm

증거 없이 신념을 갖고 주장할 때 씁니다.(예컨대 결백을 주장할 때) 반면에 affirm은 증거나 그 밖의 근거에 의거하여 진실을 주장할 때 씁니다.(예컨대 뉴스가 사실이라고 주장할 때)

• It fuels trade and keeps economies alive.

접속사를 사용해서 동사를 2개쓸 때는 특히 두번째 동사의 수일치에 주의합니다.

• As the competition goes high,

As를 썼을 때는 명사+현재형을 써주는 경우가 많습니다. While을 썼을 때는 명사+Ving를 붙이는 것도 가능합니다.

 

아이엘츠 6.5 샘플은 최경훈 선생님입니다!:)

감사합니다.