Writing Sample #9_Aging Society 고령화 사회_최경훈 선생님

<아이엘츠 라이팅 샘플 6.5+>

안녕하세요, 최경훈 선생님입니다.

오늘은 고령화 사회 문제를 풀어보겠습니다.

문제를 대충 읽으면 topic off하기 굉장히 쉬운 문제이니 고득점을 목표로하는 분들은 특히 조심해주세요!

 

<문제>

Some people think getting old is all bad, while others think the life of elderly people in modern world is better than that in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

<답변>

 

Most people think that getting old has nothing positive, while others believe the environment for the old has become better than in the past. This essay will discuss both views and explain why I think aging is not always a bad thing.

 

Many seniors are not used to the fast pace of today’s world. As life moves online, it becomes more difficult for them to keep up with the development. As a person gets older, changes occur in all parts of the body, including the brain. The aging brain makes their thought process slower. They may feel difficulty quickly learning a new thing and have more problems with multitasking, which disables them to utilize fast-growing technology.

 

Nevertheless, the development of the medical field can benefit them. Today’s technology can make healthcare easier. Many doctors and hospitals now have online programs that provide a place to keep up-to-date medication lists and offer easy access to test results, which lets seniors and their families keep needed health information at their fingertips.

 

Understandably, seniors can feel difficulty adjusting to the fast-moving society, but there are many free educational programs for senior citizens in local colleges or community centers. It could take a certain amount of time for them to learn and get used to using the Internet, but, once retired, they have more leisure time than in the past. Thus, they can spend enough time on education.

 

In conclusion, granted that it is challenging for the old to adjust to the fast-growing technology, but they can learn it as they have enough free time. Additionally, the development of medical technology can benefit them in various ways.

 

(273 words)

 

<최경훈 선생님의 고득점 체크 포인트!>

• • Spelling 실수 주의
    • today’s(not todays'(X))
    • technology(not techonology(X))

 

• • 명사
    • the environment

-노인들을 위한 사회적인 환경을 의미하므로 말하는 바가 분명하여 the를 붙인다.

• The aging brain

-앞문장에서 바로 “including the brain”이라고 언급하고 있으므로 ‘그러한 노화되는 뇌가-’라는 의미로 The 붙인다.

• feel difficulty learning(not feel difficult(X) ving)

-feel difficulty ving에서 difficulty가 명사임에 주의.

• the development of the medical field

-분명하게 의료 분야의 발전을 말하므로 the가 붙는다.

 

• 형용사
  • challenging(not challengeable(X))

-challenging->어려운 / challengeable은 잘 안쓰이는 단어로 쓰이더라도, 의미상, 주어가 도전을 할 능력이 있다는 의미.

 

여러분 오늘도 파이팅입니다!

지금까지 최경훈 선생님이었습니다.

감사합니다.