쉴드아이엘츠 6.5+샘플 답안#10_건강을 해치는 삶의 방식 문제_최경훈 선생님

안녕하세요,

최경훈 선생님입니다.

오늘은  10번째 writing 주제로  unhealthy lifestyle에 대한 문제를 검토하겠습니다.

 

<문제>

Scientists advise people to lead a healthy lifestyle, but most people continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think it is and what can do with it?

<답변>

 

Everyone knows a healthy lifestyle is crucial, but the majority continuously do unhealthy things. This essay will explain why it is and how we can improve it.

 

One reason is that many people fail to make plans to change their unhealthy habits. Once a habit is formed, it is extremely difficult to kick it without setting up a proper plan. For example, many people just say they will do more exercise as a new year‘s resolution, but failing to draw a plan they could forget it so soon. Another reason is these days many people work too long to have enough time and energy to change their unhealthy lifestyle. There is so much to do during working hours that it is difficult to check all the details and tips for a healthy one.

 

To turn this situation around, people should make a detailed plan for a healthy lifestyle. For instance, if someone wants to quit smoking, he or she should make a specific plan from when to do to how to overcome some obstacles they may face. With the schedule, they can more proactively deal with possible nicotine withdrawal. In addition, people should achieve a work-life balance to save enough time and energy to take care of themselves. More leisure time after work allows us to do more physical activities we need. It is almost impossible to work over 10 hours a day and simultaneously go to a gym after work.

 

In conclusion, many people feel difficulty changing some unhealthy habits, even though they already know it is detrimental to their well-being. Failing to have plans and save more time and energy for a better lifestyle is the main reason. Nevertheless, drawing up a specific schedule and achieving a work-life balance can be the solution.

 

(294 words)

 

<최경훈 선생님의 득점 포인트>

• • Spelling 실수 주의
    • healthy(not heathyX))
  • 명사
    • nicotine withdrawal 담배 금단현상
  • 동사
    • There is so much to do.(not There are so much(X))
    • kick a habit 습관을 버리다.
    • draw up a schedule/design a schedule/plan a schedule ->collocation
    • make it better보다 improve가 더 간결함
    • More leisure time allows us to do more exercise. ->allow의 쓰임 주의

 

지금까지 최경훈 선생님이었습니다.

Writing 점수를 올리고자 하는 분들은 홈페이지에 있는 인강이나 교재로 공부하거나,

1:1강의를 신청하시면 더 빨리 목표점수를 받을 수 있습니다!:)

감사합니다.